You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
