I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
