Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
