come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
