i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
