I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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