I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
