It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You've changed since you got that strap on
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
