somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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