have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
