Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize