Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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