Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize