dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This is my gift to your gina
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
