can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
40s are totally the cure
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
