Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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