So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
