mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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