Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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