so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
