I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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