I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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