it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
