another moral hangover. fuck.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
