Will you blow on my dice?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize