Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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