I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
