he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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