He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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