I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
