Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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