dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
4 words: hood of his car
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
