We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
