Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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