It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
