the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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