Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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