I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
