Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry anonstopxdisco hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.

Fav 25 6986 1289
share tweet
(231): View more from Michigan

A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

Fav 110 9833 2581
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(479): View more from Arkansas

This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.

Fav 14 3938 1486
share tweet
(661): View more from California

When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience

Fav 17 1086 5307
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.

Fav 6 2948 1069
share tweet
(507): View more from Minnesota

Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

Fav 12 2867 1361
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.

Fav 10 3687 1165
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.

Fav 2 1136 679
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...

Fav 1 966 533
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT