i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
