i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
