You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
