yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
