Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
