tell your sister to shave her snatch
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
