Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
