Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize