it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
