It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
