and you said cock pushups were impossible
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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