you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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