btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
