Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
