Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
