You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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