So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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