I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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