please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
