I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize